It’s been 3 years of what could of,should of been joy. All I have left are ashes, memories and photographs. I wish I could say that I look back at Continue Reading →

Take out of your wasted honor Every little past frustration Take all your so called problems Better put them in quotations Say what you need to say………. Lyrics by John Continue Reading →

1 Peter 1: 22Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart. 1 Continue Reading →

In so many ways I dreaded the fact of the arrival of this day. So now the entire circle of the sun has been made. I had already seen her Continue Reading →

I was just thinking about a notion that C.S. Lewis offered in a book called The Four Loves and so I dug it out of my brain and googled it: Continue Reading →

He chuckled at the memory, and then, in the instant, tears were burning in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. That was always the way of grief: laughter and Continue Reading →

(More Digression I guess this could be Part 1a) Here is a link to Part 1 When we got back to Tamarindo Bed and Breakfast after our 2 dives Friday Continue Reading →

Grief Rebutted                            Part 1 Romans 13: 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another……………. The Sunday night before Continue Reading →

Lindsey’s Easter Vessel Jesus’ last words were: “It. Is. Finished.” Mark and I did not plan it out this way, but as so many things since Lindsey died it seems Continue Reading →

The work continues on the final resting place for Lindsey Quite a few issues were encountered and problems had to be solved. Mark has done an amazing job and it Continue Reading →

  Solace in the Studio When I arrived in Florida at the studio, upon entering the “Compound” as we lovingly refer to this enormous space, I was greeted by Mark Continue Reading →

I was asked earlier this week if I would participate in a discussion hosted by Nancy Redd on a HuffPost Live streamed interview with a woman who also lost her Continue Reading →

A Year Ago Today March 18, 2014   A year ago today at 3:30pm was the first time I had seen Lindsey in since the previous Summer (2013). The occasion Continue Reading →

Today is 3 months since Lindsey McFadden passed away. I can say I am a bit better than I was last week. This slow dawning that every dream we had Continue Reading →

That smile she wore was born from sadness The strength she possessed was earned through feeling weak The fear of being ugly and her sadness inside She turned into beauty Continue Reading →

So this blog is not in any kind of order really it is a stream of consciousness while I try and get thru this grief. So many days lately I Continue Reading →

Grief is the envenomation of my heart by death It is poison coursing thru my bloodstream that works its way out of me thru moans, anguish, tears and sorrow. Death Continue Reading →

Psalm 127: 3-5 3Children are a heritage from the Lord,offspring a reward from him.4Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth.5Blessed is the man Continue Reading →

Thanks goes out to Greg Silker for shooting this video and for his boys for editing it. I hope you enjoy another little peek into the most lovely day of Continue Reading →

Here is the link to the piece in the Daily Mail, I have always liked the way they sorta do things. It’s not pure journalism and they even took liberties Continue Reading →

During the process of being interviewed for the story that appeared on Valentines Day in the Pioneer Press, Molly Guthrie the writer asked me for tons of documents and accounts Continue Reading →

Her final chapter was one we wrote together. Where the dreams of her life coalesced into a beautiful present, full of love, joy, professional and academic accomplishment. The day she Continue Reading →

A picture is worth a thousand words it has been said, well here are a thousand pictures at least that leave me speechless. Thank you to Joe Peterson for your Continue Reading →

Amazing times we live in. I found Alejandra in my friends of friends list on FB. This is her account of Lindsey’s final day. It’s a tender 3rd person account Continue Reading →

Grief. The saddest state of human-ness. The base narcissistic curled up fetal position miserable pain in which I find myself scares me and calls me to question every feeling and Continue Reading →

Lindsey and I had been emailing and texting for a few weeks prior to this meeting. Writing about our experiences of owning property and the risk/reward of that and about Continue Reading →

January 8, 2015 It’s been a month now since Lindsey passed away. I’m still in bad way and don’t really know when I will be better and frankly most of Continue Reading →

1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ” Lindsey tried to tell me a few times about her previous “history” Continue Reading →

I met Lindsey for the first time on August 5th 2013. Marie Wichmann is my friend Paul Wichmann’s younger sister. I have know Marie since she was 15 years old. Continue Reading →

*This blog entry is the first one and has been edited from my original status update on FaceBook about midnite December 10, 2014   Lindsey McFadden passed away on Monday Continue Reading →