A Year Ago Today March 18, 2014

A year ago today at 3:30pm was the first time I had seen Lindsey in since the previous Summer (2013).

The occasion was to look at her bathroom in a little duplex she had bought in spring of 2013.

Thru the fall and winter she would invite me to various real estate meetings as she knew that I was a landlord for many years but that I did not know much about buying and selling and different ways to finance things like that. She had a boyfriend so it was just a friendly kind of invite. Lindsey Loved to include others in her activities either for their own good or just to have another person to talk to.

I also saw her once that fall at our mutual friend Marie’s wedding. I was the photographer for that occasion so I was pretty busy but I could not help but notice the dress Lindsey had on that’s for sure! But more than anything we both were occupied and I do not remember saying hardly anything to Lindsey then.

After the 4th invite to a real estate function, I just had different things come up each time the event happened, I thought to myself, ‘the next time she invites me I gotta make it or I am an idiot!’

She and I had a facebook chat in December and just caught up a bit about what was going on in our lives. She had a New boyfriend. She actually invited me to meet them because we were both photographers so I knew it was again just a friendly invite from Lindsey. I told her about my niece Becca and she loved the maternity images I had shot of her when she was expecting their first child.

Then in March was the first time  she mentioned to me about the bathroom remodel and we made plans to look at it.

I did not know if she had a boyfriend or not, but it was sorta in my mind that I really always felt so comfortable talking to her or texting her. She always asked me about what I was up to and was genuinely interested in things I did or plans I had. We agreed to meet at 3:30pm at her place.

KC arrived just a bit before me that day and then the three of us just discussed the ideas and the timetable for the process. I have written about this particular meeting and how it went and all that in earlier posts. (A Man Can Always Dream)

So what do I think about that meeting Today on the anniversary of it?

I think I was brave to tell KC at the end of that meeting, “KC, I am gonna make a run at this girl”

It’s that decision to for the first time in a Long time at least open the door of my heart and really show it to someone and see what might happen. It was the best decision I have ever made. I would do it all again tomorrow if I could even if it meant loosing her again.

Over the next few weeks on these special anniversaries I aim to share some personal thoughts and tell some personal stories. I am so glad many have taken an interest in it too. For me it just helps to share and to remember the emotions of those days.

As I left her place that afternoon, I had No idea what lay ahead for me and Lindsey. I only knew I was not going to be a dispassionate contractor, I was going to pry open my heart and show it to Lindsey little by little, or so I thought. She just made it easy to live openhearted.

It would be a week before we saw each other again. It was not really love at first sight. I have sorta been suspicious of that but it was surely nice to get reacquainted with her again after not seeing her for so long.

On the drive home I could not help thinking Wow, she is not dating right now. I remembered my earlier thoughts from when she invited me in the fall to many real estate meetings. I also remembered her shyness at the drive in movie night late August 2013 and that inkling I had that she might have been shy and wearing sunglasses after dark because she too had feelings for me.

I felt Alive driving home just to even think I might have a small chance with her! Perhaps she was brave enough to consider an older guy ? Was I ready to think about a much younger woman?

My heart said don’t forge too far ahead, but don’t be reluctant to give it a chance.  I never asked her about how that meeting felt to her. But soon she was inviting me to things and I was more available and the story began to slowly unfold between us.

I miss you Lindsey Rae. But today was a good day and so was a year ago today. I love you forever.