ALejandra Ramirez’s Letter to Lindsey

-2Amazing times we live in. I found Alejandra in my friends of friends list on FB. This is her account of Lindsey’s final day. It’s a tender 3rd person account of the horror and her response to what she witnessed and how she has been changed by Lindsey’s passing and our love that final morning. (I have to thank some friends for translating this for me and I have another translation that will be more true to some idioms that were difficult. But today it has been 2 months since Lindsey passed away. Aleja’s account reminds me that Lindsey and I seized the days we had and now I am honoring her legacy sharing that even in death Lindsey McFadden is able to tell us that we should Live Mas.

Mi Amore I love you forever, and I too will be always thinking about you.

The text below is Alejandra’s first hand account of our day.

Letter to Lindsey by Alejandra Ramìrez

Lindsey, it only took three hours to know the great love you felt for your husband, the looks between you all and the mutual care was evident that you loved each other. I was anxious to finish my open water certification and after 3 months without diving I can’t deny that I was scared and that it was normal, but that day it was strange now that I think about it. I spent three days on the beautiful island of Cozumel, it was my second time in this place and I was loving it like you all were. One thing that I did not want was to impose on your privacy, this is why, although I smiled, I was careful not to intrude and only spoke with Jorge, and I felt very safe because of his high qualifications.

On entering the water, although I saw you and your husband, we only crossed each other on one photo inside of a cave, from that day I enter the caves diving and I can’t stop thinking that one of the last photos was with me. My heart grieves even though we hadn’t known each other for years.

At the end of the dive Lindsey you swam very quickly those last couple feet. I have this in my mind as if it had been yesterday, the face of your husband as if he were saying “I don’t know what’s happening to her”, all of us we were thinking that it wasn’t anything serious, but getting out of the water I see you breathing strangely and when you lost consciousness I panicked because I knew that you were not doing well. From that moment, it was as if I was experiencing a horror movie, your husband shouting and lifting up a prayer to God with all of his soul, Jorge giving first aid and me crying saying to God, “What is this?”

Something that impacted me is that when we made it to the beach the first thing that your husband did was to jump out of the boat and run to shore and threw himself to his knees. in that moment I too began to pray, my parents were in Colombia and I called them immediately to tell them to please pray for this girl that is not doing well at all, I called my best friend and asked the same thing and also since the ambulance had not come I called my instructor and friend Sergio to tell him what had happened and could he help me to get and ambulance. Those were the longest 20 minutes of my life, I felt useless because I felt that we were losing. The ambulance came, Jorge, the captain and I were in shock, none of us three could believe what was happening. Heading to the hospital, Jorge kept repeating “in my 40 years of diving, i have seen a lot of things never but never, no never have I experienced anything like this”. He called his son and told him that something bad had happened and he feared for your life. I got out of the boat in my bathing suit, all my clothes were wet and Jorge asked to take me to the hotel and I told him no, we should go to the hospital. When we arrived the only thing that we wanted to hear was that you were doing well, we had hope. When your husband came out, he came out broken, trembling from cold, we gave him a towel, he took out several things that he took diving and couldn’t stop saying, “this is impossible, she was fine” and he was telling Jorge “this is not your fault, don’t worry”. I tried to get close to him, but I had a knot in my throat Your husband went in with you and the doctor came out and Jorge and I went over to him to ask him what had happened and what was going on, the doctor said the she is going to die she has only about 10 minutes before we stop attempting to save her. Her husband knows it. He is in alone with her now. I begin to cry and tell him “you all can’t save her? How is it possible that you can’t?” I asked the Doctor a thousand questions, to the point that the doctor said what nobody ever wants to hear “I’m so sorry”.

I sat in the waiting room and cried and cried, Jorge cried, because even though your weren’t my best friend, I understood that God brought you into my life these last two hours, to teach me that life is an opening and closing of eyes and that simply I must care for it more. I called my parents some 10 times, they are Christian pastors and they could only tell me “Aleja, God has everything under control. Take care and listen to what God wants to tell you.”

The last time that I saw you was when they took you off the stretcher, without life, and from there I went to the hotel with Jorge and another friend, that day I didn’t stop crying, I was gone, I thought that I could not dive, but I did achieve it. They invited me to the Memorial dive on Thursday morning Dec. 11 to honor you, but the fear didn’t let me that morning. The next day I asked Jorge about you, and he told me the cause of your death and since then I tell your story to more and more if only to admire your husband who has been so brave to be able to stand such great pain. You taught me that I have to live and love with passion because, perhaps I could be living my last day today.


You’ll always be in my mind forever and I’ll always be talking about you.

Alejandra Ramìrez
Infinite hugs from Columbia